For all of my growing years everyone thought
that male and female differences occurred because parents raised girls and boys
in different ways. The truth is the other way around. Parents raise girls and
boys differently because girls and boys are so different from birth. The
differences can be noticed in the way girls and boys play, learn, fight, process
emotions, and see the world. All these differences come about because their
brains are wired differently.
The most recent theory, and by far the most
convincing, is that human behavior is influenced by genes and hormones. Our
temperaments are shaped by the mix of chemicals with which we were
born—biological differences between the sexes. This theory, however, not only
validates ancient stereotypes about the sexes, but it has important implications
regarding leadership.
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Because of the way they are wired, often women make better leaders than men
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Gender differences need to be acknowledged, accepted, and exploited
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Because of the way they are wired, often women make better leaders than men
by Richard L. Weaver II, PhD
How is your personality formed? Freud claimed that early family
experiences relating to defecation and genital stimulation created
unconscious states that influenced behavior throughout life. His theory was
displaced in the 1950s when the thinking turned to humans beginning as
nearly blank slates and that behavior was learned through stimulus and
response. There have been theories, too, that humans are divided between
passion and reason or between the angelic and the demonic. Perhaps brain
patterns were established during the millenniums when humans were hunters
and gatherers, and now we live with the consequences.
The most recent theory, and by far the most convincing, is that human
behavior is influenced by genes and hormones. Our temperaments are shaped by
the mix of chemicals with which we were born—biological differences between
the sexes. This theory, however, not only validates ancient stereotypes
about the sexes, but it has important implications regarding leadership.
The explanation of the genes and hormones theory comes from David Brooks’
article, “Is Chemistry Destiny?” based on Louann Brizendine’s book The
Female Brain (New York Times, September 17, 2006, p. 14). Brizendine is a
neuropsychiatrist and the founder of the Women’s and Teen Girls’ Mood and
Hormone Clinic in San Francisco. In her book she summarizes hundreds of
studies on the neurological differences between men and women. In this essay
I borrow heavily from Brooks’ comments on her book.
“All human beings,” writes Brooks about Brizendine’s findings, “start out
with a brain that looks female. But around the eighth week in the womb,
testosterone surges through male brains killing cells in some regions
(communications) and growing cells in others (sex and aggression).”
Underscoring the differences in communication skills between the sexes, by
the time girls are three months old, they are much better at making eye
contact with other people, picking up information from faces, checking for
emotional signals from others, hearing a broader range of sounds in the
human voice, and discerning changes in vocal tone. As they get older, girls
are more likely to use sentences that begin with “Lets...” (“Let’s do this”
or “Let’s do that”), and take turns.
These basic differences between the sexes in both brain structure and
chemistry are bolstered when the female brain is washed in estrogen—which
creates an intense desire for social connection—and the male brain produces
10 times more testosterone than the female brain—which creates more
aggression and a much greater male sex drive.
These chemical differences reinforce the research conducted by Judith B.
Rosener, Ph.D., Graduate School of Management, University of California,
Irvine. More than 15 years ago, Rosener reported that women have
dramatically different leadership traits than men. Male executives, she
reported, tend to lead the traditional way by command and control. They give
an order, explain the reward for a job well done, and keep their power and
knowledge to themselves.
Female executives, Rosener concludes, tend to lead in non-traditional ways:
they share information and power. They inspire good work by interacting with
others, by encouraging employee participation, and by showing how employees’
personal goals can be reached as they meet organizational goals.
Rosener does not claim that one leadership model is better or worse than the
other. If there were a fire, for example, you need a command-and-control
type leader to order everyone out with no questions asked. Where strict
hierarchical structure means that orders in companies flow from the top and
everyone below follows them, traditional leadership works best.
How well does the hierarchical structure function in a global economy of
multinational companies, service industries, and fast-changing technology
businesses? Having only a few top people from whom all planning and orders
flow is impractical. Today, women can depend not only on the skills and
attitudes they developed from their shared experience as women but also draw
on what is unique to their socialization and natural born proclivities.
The nontraditional leadership style is well suited to the conditions of some
work environments and can increase an organization’s chances of surviving in
an uncertain world. Men are more likely to use power that comes from their
organization position and formal authority whereas women transform their own
self-interest into the interest of the group through concern for a broader
goal. Women ascribe their power to personal characteristics like charisma,
interpersonal skills, hard work, and personal contacts rather than to
organization structure.
We all know that the art of leadership encompasses many variables; however,
there is one constant: communication. Effective leaders are able to
communicate their vision, their thoughts and ideas, in a manner that
produces the greatest results.
As a close companion to communication, because it must be a two-way street,
is listening. Effective leaders must lend their ears to those talented
individuals who fill the rooms and cubicles of their workspace, listen to
different points of view before coming to decisions, be open to change and
improvements, face and learn from errors, and listen to feedback.
Women are naturally better communicators than men. They are more sensitive
to nonverbal communication, say, “Good job” with their words, and send a
consistent message with their eyes, head, and body, empathize and work
productively with people from a wide variety of backgrounds, and are able to
develop and contribute positively to team-based projects.
Because women have a flexible, adaptable, responsive, shared leadership
style that fosters mutual satisfaction and actualization they are likely to
find success as leaders in business, government, and education. They can
combine family and career, earn a substantial income, and not act like a
man. Because of the way they are wired, often women make better leaders than
men.
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Because of the way they are wired, often women make better leaders than men
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Gender differences need to be acknowledged, accepted, and exploited
Gender differences need to be acknowledged, accepted, and exploited
bby Richard L. Weaver II, PhD
For all of my growing years everyone thought that male and female
differences occurred because parents raised girls and boys in different
ways. The truth is the other way around. Parents raise girls and boys
differently because girls and boys are so different from birth. The
differences can be noticed in the way girls and boys play, learn, fight,
process emotions, and see the world. All these differences come about
because their brains are wired differently.
Much of this essay has been drawn from a book entitled Why Gender Matters:
What Parents and Teachers Need to Know About the Emerging Science of Sex
Differences (Broadway Books, 2005) by Leonard Sax, M.D., PhD. Sax challenges
many of the basic assumptions regarding gender differences by interspersing
hard data and numerous case studies. This is an outstanding work of
scholarship, and in this essay, I avoid using quotation marks to indicate my
use of this source because of the distraction quotation marks can create.
Differences between males and females go on and on. In friendships, for
example, girls’ friendships can be characterized as face-to-face—two or
three girls talking with one another—whereas boys’ friendships are
shoulder-to-shoulder—a group of boys looking out at some common interest
(like a video game or a sporting event). Girls confide in each other about
their most personal doubts and difficulties; most boys don’t want to hear
about each other’s innermost secrets. Close friendships between girls are
usually intimate and personal. Friendships between boys are usually built
around shared activities.
There are many other differences, too. For example, one occurs in how
females and males give directions. Girls are more likely to use visual
landmarks, whereas boys are more likely to use compass directions: north,
south, east, and west. In another example, girls and boys turn to drugs for
different reasons. Girls use drugs to lose weight, relieve stress, to calm
down, and because their friends are doing it. Most boys who abuse drugs are
looking for a thrill. They want the excitement of doing something dangerous.
Also, boys are more likely to buy illegal drugs from strangers (risk-taking
behavior), while girls buy most of their drugs from people they know.
Another difference is how boys and girls respond to types of discipline.
Boys respond well to strict and authoritarian discipline, which might
include occasional spanking. For girls, a warm and fuzzy approach is the one
that best promotes social skills; strict discipline may even have a slight
negative effect on girls’ social development.
There are many other differences as well; however, as parents we would all
like our children to grow up to be courageous and self-confident—attributes
traditionally considered masculine. We also want them to be nurturing,
thoughtful, and good listeners–attributes traditionally seen as feminine. In
addition, we want our children to grow into adults who are comfortable,
expressing both feminine
and masculine attributes—whatever is appropriate for the situation.
The best way to raise androgynous children is to first let them be who they
are. The appropriate quotation is, “You can’t be at home everywhere until
you are at home somewhere.” Once your children are sure of who they are,
they will be more confident, more able to explore gender-atypical ways of
learning and listening.
But why does gender matter? A group of distinguished scholars at Dartmouth
Medical School determined that our society’s neglect of gender differences
has caused great harm. It deeply influences their well-being, they said.
Gender may be more fundamental to learning than age. Noted Georgetown
University professor Deborah Tannen compared how girls and boys of different
ages use language. In her book, You Just Don’t Understand (HaarperCollins,
2001), she said she “was overwhelmed by the differences that separated the
females and males at each age, and the striking similarities that linked the
females, on one hand, and the males, on the other, across
the vast expanse of age. In many ways,” she writes, “the second-grade girls
were more like the twenty-five-year-old women than like the second-grade
boys.” Why is this important? It affects children’s ability to listen,
willingness to affiliate with adults, and their emotional development.
Girls and boys assess risk differently, and they differ in their likelihood
of engaging in risky behaviors. In play behavior, for example, boys are more
likely to put their fingers into an electrical socket, try to stand on a
basketball, or jump off a chair. Even when told to stop doing something
risky, boys are less likely to comply. Studies in the United States and
around the world universally find that boys are more likely to engage in
physically risky activities. Why is this important? Boys are more likely to
be seriously injured or killed in accidents such as drowning, misuse of
firearms, or head injury related to riding a bicycle, or playing in extreme
sports. For boys, doing something dangerous or stupid increases when in a
group of boys.
According to a study by the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA), the
gender gap in reading—favoring girls at the expense of boys—has grown from a
small gap to a yawning chasm. “What was formerly a moderate difference is
fast becoming a decided marker of gender identity: Girls read; boys don’t,”
the study reports. In addition, the NEA noted that boys are disengaging from
school. More boys are dropping out, and a smaller proportion are going onto
college. Those men who attend college are less likely to earn a diploma, and
those who do earn a diploma are less likely to go on to graduate school.
There are, thus, less American men earning PhDs in math and science, and
because American women have not stepped in to fill the breach, the gap is
being filled by foreign students. One writer has suggested that the decline
in numbers of Americans studying advanced math and science may adversely
affect national security.
Because gender runs near to the core of human identity and social meaning,
the neglect of gender differences hinders our children in the guidance they
receive about what it means to be an adult woman or man.
Sax goes so far as to say that future generations will look back on this one
and claim that “a fundamental cause for the unraveling of our social fabric
was the neglect of gender in the raising of our children (p. 251).”
“Differences between girls and boys are natural. Those differences should be
acknowledged, accepted, and exploited (p. 63).” The fact is that girls and
boys differ in learning, risk assessment, the pursuit of education, in how
they transition from boys and girls into men and women, and in many other
aspects. Parents and teachers need to adopt strategies that will get the
best out of every child.
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Because of the way they are wired, often women make better leaders than men
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Gender differences need to be acknowledged, accepted, and exploited
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