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And Then Some Get to know the book that started everything

And Then Some Book 1
Table of contents, full chapters, and excerpts


And Then Some Approach
  > An attitude of gratitude And Then Some
  > Eight steps for raising your standards And Then Some!
  > Mindfulness is a way of seeing things as they really are And Then Some
  > Simple Suggestions for Improving Your Life And Then Some
  > The Core of the "AND THEN SOME" Philosophy Part 1
  > The Core of the "AND THEN SOME" Philosophy Part 2


 Education
  > Dealing With Mediocre Teachers
  > Effective Learning Means Being a Student of and for Life
  > Get a College Education!
  > Hidden benefits of college
  > The link between homework and success
  > What is the Importance of Public Education?


 Family
  > A weekend with the grandkids And Then Some...
  > Most fathers have no idea the influence they have on their children
  > The best things in your life were planted by the tender hand of your mother


 Gender
  > Because of the way they are wired, often women make better leaders than men
  > Gender differences need to be acknowledged, accepted, and exploited


 Humor
  > How do you develop a sense of humor?

  > A Gathering of Scientists


 Messages
  > The message citizens don't want to hear
  > Ten messages kids don't want to hear
  > The Message Men Don’t Want to Hear
  > The Message Parents Don’t Want to Hear
  > The message relationship partners don't want to hear
  > The Message Students Don’t Want to Hear
  > The Message Women Don’t Want to Hear


Miscellaneous
  > Christmas is about people
  > Dear Mom and Dad: Lives and then some
  > A fourth grade perspective on the world
  > Gifts that keep on giving
  > Reasons why the Law of Attraction (LOA) is a myth
  > The first anniversary of posted essays


  Politics
  > Random thoughts on the presidential election of 2008
  > What qualities make a good president?
  > If truth is to prevail, image consumption must be replaced by word devotion
  > Making sense of political rhetoric: What are the keys?
  > Make a Choice...


  Public Speaking
  > A Testament to the Power of Speech
  > Fear of Public Speaking: A Method for Overcoming It
  > How do you give “the speech of your life”?
  > Impromptu Speaking Without the Fear and Panic
  > Leadership is not a bag of tricks - It depends on values, vision, and communication
  > Martin Luther King’s ‘I Have a Dream’ speech — The greatest and most notable speech in history
  > Six time-tested ways dealing with fear of public speaking

  Relationships
  > Five Reasons Why Talk Is Essential to Relationships
  > Relationship Luck Takes Hard Work


  Self Help   > An analytical approach yields confidence and satisfaction
  > An attitude of gratitude And Then Some
  > Are you skeptical regarding change?
  > Be aware of the myths that guide your life
  > Eight steps for raising your standards And Then Some!
  > Eliminate Every Excuse?
  > Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure
  > Forget about resolutions and promises — Take care of your new car!
  > Fundamentals first before fun!
  > The fun in FUNdamentals! — How to find the fun in all FUNctions!
  > Healthy Selfishness Contributes to Being Effective, Efficient, and Productive
  > Live life to the fullest!...
  > Mindfulness is a way of seeing things as they really are And Then Some
  > Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps
  > Secure your foundation: Forget resolutions
  > Self-discipline can change your life in any way you want it to
  > Simple Suggestions for Improving Your Life And Then Some


 Sports
  > The Super Bowl: All American - All Excess!
  > The Super Bowl And Then Some
  > Michigan versus Ohio State: Just another football game? It’s a game And Then Some


 Thought provoking
  > A “thinking” environment should be at the core of any true democracy
  > The "feel good" pattern
  > We Get What We Deserve When It Comes to Alcohol Overuse and Abuse


 Travel
  > World geography and then some
  > When "camping" becomes exceptional
  > Traveling by guess and by gosh
  > Traveling by guess and by gosh II
  > Travel While You’re Young
  > Canoeing the Pine River
  > Celebrity’s Millennium plies the Mediterranean with an emphasis on service and satisfaction


 Very Personal
  > Why do I read? It has the potential for transforming how I think and feel
  > Trying to understand everything
  > Being “handy” is a quality that never ceases to be useful


 Writing
  > So you want to write a book?
  > A Beginners Guide to Writing a Book
  > Do you want to be a writer?
  > How to overcome the curse of knowledge in teaching and writing
  > On being a writer --- an irresistible compulsion!


Gender
Male vs. Female?

For all of my growing years everyone thought that male and female differences occurred because parents raised girls and boys in different ways. The truth is the other way around. Parents raise girls and boys differently because girls and boys are so different from birth. The differences can be noticed in the way girls and boys play, learn, fight, process emotions, and see the world. All these differences come about because their brains are wired differently.

The most recent theory, and by far the most convincing, is that human behavior is influenced by genes and hormones. Our temperaments are shaped by the mix of chemicals with which we were born—biological differences between the sexes. This theory, however, not only validates ancient stereotypes about the sexes, but it has important implications regarding leadership.

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> Because of the way they are wired, often women make better leaders than men

> Gender differences need to be acknowledged, accepted, and exploited

 
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Because of the way they are wired, often women make better leaders than men
by Richard L. Weaver II, PhD

How is your personality formed? Freud claimed that early family experiences relating to defecation and genital stimulation created unconscious states that influenced behavior throughout life. His theory was displaced in the 1950s when the thinking turned to humans beginning as nearly blank slates and that behavior was learned through stimulus and response. There have been theories, too, that humans are divided between passion and reason or between the angelic and the demonic. Perhaps brain patterns were established during the millenniums when humans were hunters and gatherers, and now we live with the consequences.

The most recent theory, and by far the most convincing, is that human behavior is influenced by genes and hormones. Our temperaments are shaped by the mix of chemicals with which we were born—biological differences between the sexes. This theory, however, not only validates ancient stereotypes about the sexes, but it has important implications regarding leadership.

The explanation of the genes and hormones theory comes from David Brooks’ article, “Is Chemistry Destiny?” based on Louann Brizendine’s book The Female Brain (New York Times, September 17, 2006, p. 14). Brizendine is a neuropsychiatrist and the founder of the Women’s and Teen Girls’ Mood and Hormone Clinic in San Francisco. In her book she summarizes hundreds of studies on the neurological differences between men and women. In this essay I borrow heavily from Brooks’ comments on her book.

“All human beings,” writes Brooks about Brizendine’s findings, “start out with a brain that looks female. But around the eighth week in the womb, testosterone surges through male brains killing cells in some regions (communications) and growing cells in others (sex and aggression).”

Underscoring the differences in communication skills between the sexes, by the time girls are three months old, they are much better at making eye contact with other people, picking up information from faces, checking for emotional signals from others, hearing a broader range of sounds in the human voice, and discerning changes in vocal tone. As they get older, girls are more likely to use sentences that begin with “Lets...” (“Let’s do this” or “Let’s do that”), and take turns.

These basic differences between the sexes in both brain structure and chemistry are bolstered when the female brain is washed in estrogen—which creates an intense desire for social connection—and the male brain produces 10 times more testosterone than the female brain—which creates more aggression and a much greater male sex drive.

These chemical differences reinforce the research conducted by Judith B. Rosener, Ph.D., Graduate School of Management, University of California, Irvine. More than 15 years ago, Rosener reported that women have dramatically different leadership traits than men. Male executives, she reported, tend to lead the traditional way by command and control. They give an order, explain the reward for a job well done, and keep their power and knowledge to themselves.

Female executives, Rosener concludes, tend to lead in non-traditional ways: they share information and power. They inspire good work by interacting with others, by encouraging employee participation, and by showing how employees’ personal goals can be reached as they meet organizational goals.

Rosener does not claim that one leadership model is better or worse than the other. If there were a fire, for example, you need a command-and-control type leader to order everyone out with no questions asked. Where strict hierarchical structure means that orders in companies flow from the top and everyone below follows them, traditional leadership works best.

How well does the hierarchical structure function in a global economy of multinational companies, service industries, and fast-changing technology businesses? Having only a few top people from whom all planning and orders flow is impractical. Today, women can depend not only on the skills and attitudes they developed from their shared experience as women but also draw on what is unique to their socialization and natural born proclivities.

The nontraditional leadership style is well suited to the conditions of some work environments and can increase an organization’s chances of surviving in an uncertain world. Men are more likely to use power that comes from their organization position and formal authority whereas women transform their own self-interest into the interest of the group through concern for a broader goal. Women ascribe their power to personal characteristics like charisma, interpersonal skills, hard work, and personal contacts rather than to organization structure.

We all know that the art of leadership encompasses many variables; however, there is one constant: communication. Effective leaders are able to communicate their vision, their thoughts and ideas, in a manner that produces the greatest results.

As a close companion to communication, because it must be a two-way street, is listening. Effective leaders must lend their ears to those talented individuals who fill the rooms and cubicles of their workspace, listen to different points of view before coming to decisions, be open to change and improvements, face and learn from errors, and listen to feedback.

Women are naturally better communicators than men. They are more sensitive to nonverbal communication, say, “Good job” with their words, and send a consistent message with their eyes, head, and body, empathize and work productively with people from a wide variety of backgrounds, and are able to develop and contribute positively to team-based projects.

Because women have a flexible, adaptable, responsive, shared leadership style that fosters mutual satisfaction and actualization they are likely to find success as leaders in business, government, and education. They can combine family and career, earn a substantial income, and not act like a man. Because of the way they are wired, often women make better leaders than men.


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> Because of the way they are wired, often women make better leaders than men
> Gender differences need to be acknowledged, accepted, and exploited


Gender differences need to be acknowledged, accepted, and exploited
bby Richard L. Weaver II, PhD

For all of my growing years everyone thought that male and female differences occurred because parents raised girls and boys in different ways. The truth is the other way around. Parents raise girls and boys differently because girls and boys are so different from birth. The differences can be noticed in the way girls and boys play, learn, fight, process emotions, and see the world. All these differences come about because their brains are wired differently.

Much of this essay has been drawn from a book entitled Why Gender Matters: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know About the Emerging Science of Sex Differences (Broadway Books, 2005) by Leonard Sax, M.D., PhD. Sax challenges many of the basic assumptions regarding gender differences by interspersing
hard data and numerous case studies. This is an outstanding work of scholarship, and in this essay, I avoid using quotation marks to indicate my use of this source because of the distraction quotation marks can create.

Differences between males and females go on and on. In friendships, for example, girls’ friendships can be characterized as face-to-face—two or three girls talking with one another—whereas boys’ friendships are shoulder-to-shoulder—a group of boys looking out at some common interest (like a video game or a sporting event). Girls confide in each other about their most personal doubts and difficulties; most boys don’t want to hear about each other’s innermost secrets. Close friendships between girls are usually intimate and personal. Friendships between boys are usually built around shared activities.

There are many other differences, too. For example, one occurs in how females and males give directions. Girls are more likely to use visual landmarks, whereas boys are more likely to use compass directions: north, south, east, and west. In another example, girls and boys turn to drugs for different reasons. Girls use drugs to lose weight, relieve stress, to calm down, and because their friends are doing it. Most boys who abuse drugs are looking for a thrill. They want the excitement of doing something dangerous. Also, boys are more likely to buy illegal drugs from strangers (risk-taking behavior), while girls buy most of their drugs from people they know.

Another difference is how boys and girls respond to types of discipline. Boys respond well to strict and authoritarian discipline, which might include occasional spanking. For girls, a warm and fuzzy approach is the one that best promotes social skills; strict discipline may even have a slight negative effect on girls’ social development.

There are many other differences as well; however, as parents we would all like our children to grow up to be courageous and self-confident—attributes traditionally considered masculine. We also want them to be nurturing, thoughtful, and good listeners–attributes traditionally seen as feminine. In addition, we want our children to grow into adults who are comfortable, expressing both feminine
and masculine attributes—whatever is appropriate for the situation.

The best way to raise androgynous children is to first let them be who they are. The appropriate quotation is, “You can’t be at home everywhere until you are at home somewhere.” Once your children are sure of who they are, they will be more confident, more able to explore gender-atypical ways of learning and listening.

But why does gender matter? A group of distinguished scholars at Dartmouth Medical School determined that our society’s neglect of gender differences has caused great harm. It deeply influences their well-being, they said.

Gender may be more fundamental to learning than age. Noted Georgetown University professor Deborah Tannen compared how girls and boys of different ages use language. In her book, You Just Don’t Understand (HaarperCollins, 2001), she said she “was overwhelmed by the differences that separated the females and males at each age, and the striking similarities that linked the females, on one hand, and the males, on the other, across
the vast expanse of age. In many ways,” she writes, “the second-grade girls were more like the twenty-five-year-old women than like the second-grade boys.” Why is this important? It affects children’s ability to listen, willingness to affiliate with adults, and their emotional development.

Girls and boys assess risk differently, and they differ in their likelihood of engaging in risky behaviors. In play behavior, for example, boys are more likely to put their fingers into an electrical socket, try to stand on a basketball, or jump off a chair. Even when told to stop doing something risky, boys are less likely to comply. Studies in the United States and around the world universally find that boys are more likely to engage in physically risky activities. Why is this important? Boys are more likely to be seriously injured or killed in accidents such as drowning, misuse of firearms, or head injury related to riding a bicycle, or playing in extreme sports. For boys, doing something dangerous or stupid increases when in a group of boys.

According to a study by the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA), the gender gap in reading—favoring girls at the expense of boys—has grown from a small gap to a yawning chasm. “What was formerly a moderate difference is fast becoming a decided marker of gender identity: Girls read; boys don’t,” the study reports. In addition, the NEA noted that boys are disengaging from school. More boys are dropping out, and a smaller proportion are going onto college. Those men who attend college are less likely to earn a diploma, and those who do earn a diploma are less likely to go on to graduate school. There are, thus, less American men earning PhDs in math and science, and because American women have not stepped in to fill the breach, the gap is being filled by foreign students. One writer has suggested that the decline in numbers of Americans studying advanced math and science may adversely affect national security.

Because gender runs near to the core of human identity and social meaning, the neglect of gender differences hinders our children in the guidance they receive about what it means to be an adult woman or man.

Sax goes so far as to say that future generations will look back on this one and claim that “a fundamental cause for the unraveling of our social fabric was the neglect of gender in the raising of our children (p. 251).”

“Differences between girls and boys are natural. Those differences should be acknowledged, accepted, and exploited (p. 63).” The fact is that girls and boys differ in learning, risk assessment, the pursuit of education, in how they transition from boys and girls into men and women, and in many other aspects. Parents and teachers need to adopt strategies that will get the best out of every child.


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> Because of the way they are wired, often women make better leaders than men
> Gender differences need to be acknowledged, accepted, and exploited



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